a colored spectrum

looking back 2004

it's the time of the year again. it's a week more to Christmas.
soon it'll be the new year 2005. it's amazing how time flies, isn't it?

in retrospect, it's been a highly eventful year.
for the better or worse, things happened because they did.
life goes on. certain things stayed the same, certain things got better.
all in all, though it wasn't a good year, i should not focus on the unhappy events.

i've certainly matured and grown stronger. definitely a little wiser.
every fall only makes a person stronger. it's survival.
hopefully, i am less gullible and naive. trust less easily and take everything with a pinch of salt.
(curse the bastard a life of misery, days of pain)

i'm very glad that my family have always supported me in times of crisis.
most importantly, my parents and Grandma. thanks for always loving and providing for me.
whatever happens in life, we only have our family to fall back on.
they are the only people who love you (and your idiosyncracies) for who your are,
they are the only people who will take you back.
so let them know you love them lots.
Daddy, Mummy, Grandma, i love you all lots. you're very important to me!
thankfully, my relationship with my family improved throughout the year...

i'm very blessed to have close friends who have stood by my side,
when i was going through my darkest period early this year.
without this supportive network, i'll have not risen from my fall.
i'll probably have suffered from depression...
Michele, you've been the best friend i can have. thanks for being by my side, cheering me on.
your companionship gave me strength and confidence to move on.
Gabriel, thanks for all the encouragement. thanks for bringing me back to church.
Jared, the happiness you radiate is infectious. you've brought light and hope into my life.
thanks for talking senses into me whenever i get overly wilful and stubborn.
Huiling, thanks for always having a warm word to cheer me up in school.
your companionship has proved to help me heal. same for Dennis, Benson and Vance!
many thanks to many other close friends and classmates. too many to name. cheers people!
Don, it's been 2 years and you still nag at me... yes... all for my own good.
but maybe you should start treating me like a grown-up! Don, you're the best mentor!

a few good things have happened this year too. and these are what i'm gonna focus on!
i enjoyed my working trip to China, i've enjoyed my trips to Bangkok, Bintan and KL.
these trips helped me made the right choice.... that is choosing to be with Joshua.
the 1 month trip to China made us realize how much we liked each other...
every sms he sent made me smile, i couldn't sleep without calling him at night.
we planned for our Bangkok trip while being apart... the anticipation of seeing Joshua again keeps me going on.

but the funny part was... we were not yet a couple during our trips!
we were just chill out mates...!
i met Joshua over Friendster. we msg for awhile, then msn, then one day decided to meet for movie. i didn't have a too good impression of him initially. coz he doesn't live very far from me, so he calls me out for dinner or coffee at S11 and bitch about girls i don't know!
i was quite irritated with him in fact... but one day, something happened in the car.
and i got electrocuted by his cute eyes... urgh... so all i could think of was him thenafter.
so as the story goes, we finally ended up together after Vance blurted out "so what are you waiting for?"

the days that came after school reopened wasn't good.
i got stressed up by my studies, i also have some family problems.
and Joshua was trying to get accustomed to school life again.
sometimes, he gets overly 'sticky' and sometimes, i am very short-fused.
our days were marked by tantrums, snappy replies, arguments....
but days marked by hugs, encouragements, companionship, understanding and love between far exceeded the days we were unhappy.

i can't do without Joshua. sleeping beside him is a joy. kissing him is a delight in itself.
he is the best event that happened!

for this Christmas, i don't want anything... i just want Joshua to get well. i am praying for a speedy recovery. he's down with a high fever and severe body ache since last night. he looks pale and yellowish. yet, i can do nothing to make him feel better! seeing him in this state, my heart feels very painful... i'm very worried that it's Dengue fever...

Lord, hear my prayers. bless Joshua with a speedy recovery and not suffer in pain. Amen.

posted by Veen @ 17:46